


Goddess Save The Uni Students

by Aldrich_Devourer_Of_Gods, AvianSolaris, Dragonstar19, Ravenmist4, RockStarFish



Series: Garreg Mach University Moments [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Comedy, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Male My Unit | Byleth, Texting, more characters will appear in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28075203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aldrich_Devourer_Of_Gods/pseuds/Aldrich_Devourer_Of_Gods, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvianSolaris/pseuds/AvianSolaris, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonstar19/pseuds/Dragonstar19, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenmist4/pseuds/Ravenmist4, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockStarFish/pseuds/RockStarFish
Summary: What happens in Garreg Mach University, stays in Garreg Mach University.// Text chats and moments between the students and staff of GMU
Series: Garreg Mach University Moments [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056863
Kudos: 15





	1. Introductions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Students from Garreg Mach University get a taste of the school-hosted chatting platform and introduce themselves.

**Main Groupchat**

**Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** I heard that we have a group chat. You may call me Dimitri. I might not be very active on here, but I do hope that we all get along.

**Lysithea Ordelia:** I’m sure we will, as long as everyone is mutually respectful and courteous. I’m Lysithea von Ordelia, by the way.

**Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** A pleasure to meet you, Ms. Ordelia. ~~I've never been on a group chat before. This is so exciting~~

 **Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** My apologies, I did not mean to send that second part :(

**Lysithea Ordelia:** Ah— it’s fine. Neither have I. It seems a bit pointless, but I’m sure it’ll prove useful once classes start.

**Claude Riegan:** There’s plenty of uses for a chat like this....

**Lysithea Ordelia:** Such as?

**Claude Riegan:** MEME SHARING

 **Claude Riegan:** _ <studying-equals_procrastinating-and-distracting-others.png> _

**Hubert Vestra:** No.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** That actually seems like a rather accurate meme! Well, for some of us.

**Hubert Vestra:** For you, perhaps.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** Luckily I don’t procrastinate!

 **Ferdinand Aegir:** I wasn’t talking to you, I was very clearly responding to Claude.

**Hubert Vestra:** Alright and I was responding to you.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** I‘m opting to ignore it then!

 **Ferdinand Aegir:** How is everyone faring?

**Hubert Vestra:** Childish.

**Claude Riegan:** _< boss-baby-asking-for-fight.png>_

 **Claude Riegan:** ^hubert

**Hubert Vestra:** Is that supposed to be me? Or be for me?

**Claude Riegan:** That is you

**Hubert Vestra:** I do not look like that.

 **Hubert Vestra:** I do not wear a suit, nor am I a baby.

**Claude Riegan:** Wearing black? Check!

**Hubert Vestra:** It is a flattering colour.

**Claude Riegan:** Looks ready to kill? DOUBLE CHECK!

**Ferdinand Aegir:** It’s technically not a color

**Claude Riegan:** It’s gotta be you

**Hubert Vestra:** I must have Alzheimer’s, because I don’t remember asking.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** That’s insensitive, Hubert!

**Hubert Vestra:** Oh. Pity.

**Claude Riegan:** He’s really set on creating conflict...

**Hubert Vestra:** I’m actually not.

 **Hubert Vestra:** I just got here.

**Claude Riegan:** To fight, yes

 **Claude Riegan:** It was peaceful up until your appearance

**Ferdinand Aegir:** ^

**Hubert Vestra:** I would actually rather not waste my time fighting with the likes of you.

 **Hubert Vestra:** And again, perhaps that is a you issue.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** For a philosopher you’re quite terrible at coming up with clever comebacks

**Hubert Vestra:** I’m not attempting to come at with ‘clever comebacks’.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** Okay <3

**Hubert Vestra:** Ok.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** Anyways, Thanks for the meme Claude! I thought it was rather humorous.

**Claude Riegan:** I’m glad you enjoyed it, Ferdinand! You are a man of culture.

 **Claude Riegan:** I also heard... there’s a young new teacher on campus

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** I heard he's pretty attractive, too.

**Hubert Vestra:** Unprofessional as well.

**Claude Riegan:** Aye! Teach!

**Ferdinand Aegir:** Hubert, Do not be mean. We don’t even know what the new Professor’s like!

**Claude Riegan:** You fancy yourself attractive?

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** I fancy myself sarcastic.

**Claude Riegan:** Cause you’re not wrong

**Hubert Vestra:** Literally don’t talk to me Ferdinand.

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Ha ha, thanks.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** What is your problem? Am I suddenly not allowed to speak in this groupchat?

**Hubert Vestra:** No.

**Ferdinand Aegir:** And hello, New Professor!

 **Ferdinand Aegir:** I’m Ferdinand von Aegir, It’s such a pleasure to meet you!

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Nice to meet you too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're all 3 years older than their academy age! So, Lysithea is 18 while Claude is 20 and so on and so forth.


	2. Sylvain please no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sylvain is... a lot. Unfortunately, Professor Byleth is unaware of that.

**Main Groupchat**

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** Aw man, i come back from my date to find I've missed the cute new professor joining

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** I'm still here.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** cool! i was worried i'd missed my chance to get to know you

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Ahaha, you haven't.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** How was your date?

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** eh, it was fine.

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Doesn't seem like you were all that into it.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** the girl was only interested in my status but that's how it is, you know?

usually i spend more time with them but that one was really obnoxious about it

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** That's shit, sorry to hear that.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** nah don’t worry, i'm used to it

 **Sylvain J. Gautier:** plus it leaves me free to pursue someone better ;)

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** That is kind of worrying but, if you say so.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** I don't think I caught your name.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** it's Sylvain

 **Sylvain J. Gautier:** but you can call me anything you want

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Hm.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Sylvain will do, I think.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** But nice try.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** aw :(

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** At least buy me dinner first, ha ha.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** is that an invitation?

**Annette F. Dominic:** 😳 Professor!!

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Gross

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** It was not an invitation.

**Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** Don't tempt him, Professor

**Annette F. Dominic:** ^^^ 😅😅

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** I'm sure he was kidding also.

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** He's never kidding.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** Hey!

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** I'm right though

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** i mean…

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Oh.

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** leave me some respect, will ya felix?

 **Sylvain J. Gautier:** Hey prof, let's just say that i was kidding this time

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** I'll think about it.

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Got it.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** What do you study, Sylvain?

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** business, but the only business i'm interested in is yours ;)

**Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** Inappropriate flirting.

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** I hate it here

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** My god.

 **Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Are you this forward with everyone?

**Sylvain J. Gautier:** only the pretty ones

**Edelgard Hresvelg:** So the answer is yes?

**Lysithea Ordelia:** I think so.

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Yes

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** Wow.

**Annette F. Dominic:** Yes 😅

 **Annette F. Dominic:** I’ve become good at ignoring it, though.

**Lysithea Ordelia:** Same here.

**Prof. Byleth Eisner:** He is like this often?

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Unfortunately

  
**Dimitri A. Blaiddyd:** It's alright Professor, I'll do my best to keep him in line so fear not and don't quit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way! This entire series comes from roleplays on a Discord server called GMU. It's on Disboard, if you're curious! I'm not sure how to link it here. Dragonstar (Ash) plays Sylvain, AvianSolaris (Sol) is Claude, ravenmist4 (Raven) is Lysithea, and Seastorm25 (Rue) writes Annette!  
> Because this comes from roleplay, it must be expected that the entire cast will not show up, and characters will shuffle around as roleplayers come and go, or change roles. Enjoy!
> 
> \- Rue (Seastorm25)


	3. Cold-blooded Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claude's pet, Omar, is an albino lizard with no sense of personal privacy.

**Main Groupchat**

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** Claude, there's an emergency, I require your assistance immediately.

**Lysithea Ordelia:** Emergency? It’s not in your dorms, is it?!

**Annette F. Dominic:** What is it!?

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** CLAUDE PLEASE. THE SITUATION IS DIRE.

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** MY VERY WELL-BEING IS AT STAKE.

**Claude Riegan:** What?

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** CLAUDE I REQUEST YOUR AID!

**Annette F. Dominic:** What with!?

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** YOUR SALAMANDER IS ON MY BED!

**Annette F. Dominic:** ...oh...

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Hm.

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Absolutely useless.

**Claude Riegan:** My-

**Claude Riegan:** bearded dragon?

**Annette F. Dominic:** Don’t scare everyone like that!

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** GET HIM OFF! HE IS CONTAMINATING MY PERSONAL SPACE!

**Claude Riegan:** He's removing the stink of Lorenz

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** AGH! HE'S STICKING OUT HIS TONGUE! GET HIM OFF ALREADY!

**Claude Riegan:** I don't see why that's a bad thing

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Someone record this please

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU?! MOVE HIM AT LEAST ONTO YOUR MATTRESS!

**Lysithea Ordelia:** Shouldn’t he have a... cage of some sorts?

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Pfft—

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** CLAUDE IF THIS IS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES I AM NOT TOLERATING IT. GET HIM OFF ALREADY!

**Claude Riegan:** Keep- him in a cage?!

**Claude Riegan:** What kind of monster would do that?

**Felix H. Fraldarius:** Isn't that school policy or something?

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** A SANE HUMAN BEING WHOSE POLITE ENOUGH TO TAKE HIS DORMMATE'S WELL-BEING INTO CONSIDERATION!

**Claude Riegan:** I had permission granted

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** IT'S STARING AT ME! I DON'T WANT TO EVEN COME CLOSE TO YOUR SPIKY SALAMANDER!

**Lysithea Ordelia:** How?

**Claude Riegan:** He won't hurt you

**Claude Riegan:** Pick him up and move him

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** I WILL NOT GET MY HANDS FILTHY BY TOUCHING YOUR LIZARD!

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** WHATEVER THIS SPECIES IS, IT IS BECOMING A STAIN ON MY SHEETS!

**Claude Riegan:** He's a very clean boy

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** HE'S YOUR PET, HE'S ANYTHING BUT "CLEAN"!

**Claude Riegan:** Alright! Alright! Coming!

**Lysithea Ordelia:** At least Claude only has ONE pet. You should see Marianne’s collection! She has so many  _ parakeets. _

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** At the very least parakeets are adorable.. unlike whatever.. Claude keeps.

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** AGH. I feel.. light-headed..

**Claude Riegan:** Hey, he's cute!

**Lysithea Ordelia:** If you faint because of the over-glorified lizard, I’m not going to come over and help.

**Claude Riegan:** Look Lorenz, I moved him and closed the door to my room

**Claude Riegan:** He can't hurt you

**Claude Riegan:** But Omar is smart enough to escape on his own

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** You better sleep with one eye open, Claude.

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** You and your lizard.

**Claude Riegan:** Are you planning to get me back~?

**Lorenz H. Gloucester:** Certainly, what you just pulled was nothing short from a call to war- and I'm happy to oblige.

**Claude Riegan:** Keep in mind, I'll win


	4. WiFi costs MONEY???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Ashen Wolves—former students of GMU who have returned and taken up mentorship positions while they try to work out their career paths—have their own group chat, as do each of the student houses! So now you get to see Balthus have a crisis.  
> Oh, and Yuri's there, too.

**Ashen Wolves Groupchat**

**Balthus Albrecht: 👁**

**Yuri Leclerc:** You're not causing too much trouble yet, I hope?

**Balthus Albrecht:** not YET. but these kids are boring.

**Balthus Albrecht:** where's the paazaaazzz and the GUMPTION

**Yuri Leclerc:** I think there's enough pizzazz and gumption shared between the two of us as is.

**Yuri Leclerc:** Well, mostly me.

**Balthus Albrecht:** yours is all stored in your hair

**Balthus Albrecht:** how much money was your conditioner again?

**Yuri Leclerc:** I'd rather not say. It costs too much to look like this, and I know that your pockets aren't doing the best right now, let's say.

**Balthus Albrecht:** hm. 

**Balthus Albrecht:** and what if , hypothetically speaking , it was knocked over? and spilled out a little bit? hypothetically speaking of course.

**Yuri Leclerc:** What if, hypothetically speaking, I could just give you a sample?

**Balthus Albrecht:** well. i would , hypothetically speaking, enjoy that. but WHAT IF, you couldn't

**Yuri Leclerc:** As in… I couldn't get any out of the bottle?

**Balthus Albrecht:** yeah cause the bottle was …emptied. hypothetically.

**Yuri Leclerc:** If I were to check my bathroom right now, would I find an empty bottle?

**Balthus Albrecht:** hypothetically or literally?

**Yuri Leclerc:** I'm afraid of both answers.

**Balthus Albrecht:** can you skip washing your luscious locks for like ... a week. hypothetically speaking.

**Yuri Leclerc:** …I suppose I can make do with other products.

**Yuri Leclerc:** I figured you might try something of this sort, anyways.

**Balthus Albrecht:** i coulda swore it was bodywash… 😔

**Yuri Leclerc:** You don't own bodywash?

**Yuri Leclerc:** I can always help you out if you just.. Ask.

**Balthus Albrecht:** nah! i do! i was just wanting a sample. and then it smelled really good . and then i dropped it? and the plastic busted open.

**Balthus Albrecht:** your shower is very slippery right now, btw

**Yuri Leclerc:** Might you have cleaned it up after?

**Yuri Leclerc:** I think I know the answer to that.

**Balthus Albrecht:** i tried.

**Balthus Albrecht:** i really did.

**Balthus Albrecht:** but then the princess diaries came on.

**Balthus Albrecht:** 😔

**Yuri Leclerc:** In your own room, I'd hope.

**Yuri Leclerc:** Something tells me it wasn't, though.

**Balthus Albrecht:** my light is out ):

**Balthus Albrecht:** it's so dark and lameeee.

**Yuri Leclerc:** Have you been paying for it?

**Balthus Albrecht:** PAYING?

**Balthus Albrecht:** PAYING FOR WHAT?

**Yuri Leclerc:** The lights. And electricity.

**Balthus Albrecht:** …BUT THE LIGHT WAS HERE ALREADY WHEN I GOT HERE?

**Balthus Albrecht:** how do you pay for something that's already here

**Yuri Leclerc:** We have to pay to upkeep these things, Balthus.

**Balthus Albrecht:** bro… no one tells me nothin.

**Yuri Leclerc:** We don't have it as good off as some of the.. Richer students.

**Yuri Leclerc:** Though, if you are in need of Wifi, I'd try stealing from your neighbor.

**Balthus Albrecht:** …

**Balthus Albrecht:** we gotta pay for wifi TOO?

**Yuri Leclerc:** Upkeep isn't free unless you make it free.

**Balthus Albrecht:** who should i talk to about making it free

**Balthus Albrecht:** i love free

**Yuri Leclerc:** You know that's my specialty.

**Balthus Albrecht:** …i'll let you lick my abs.

**Balthus Albrecht:** for electricity and wifi

**Yuri Leclerc:** I've seen them plenty by now, no thank you.

**Yuri Leclerc:** Just let me help you, I don't need to lick anything.

**Balthus Albrecht:** …are you sure

  
**Yuri Leclerc:** More than certain.


End file.
